I'm being written up for applying to Parks and Rec (lol) I thought to myself as I sat down, smiling wearily. Is that possible? Maybe they'd seen me stick my Wonder Woman stamps on the application and walk to the mailbox on the corner on State time. They knew I didn't walk for funsies. Or maybe the strappy, plunging AZN shirt I was wearing from the 4 dollar strapping plunging 4 dollar AZN store at the mall was too much (or not enough)?
"You do a good job, the field likes you, you get along with vendors nicely..." she began praising me as I grew feverish with regret for ever having approached the stupid AZN store after exiting the thunderwear shop. Were my boobs hanging out right now? Was my nipple showing? If I reached for it, would that make things worse? Oh GOD. I blacked out and could hear only the pounding of my heart against my ribs as her mouth continued opening and closing.
"...and that's why we'd like to make you an Associate Governmental Program..."
I snapped back to consciousness.
"Super Analyst!?" I interrupted her in shock.
"...Program Analyst," she finished, and then smiled.
I waved my hand at my cheeks like I was Halle Berry winning an Oscar and then wiped away tears.
"Oh thank you! Thank you!"
In light of this, I'm redacting pics of myself from here until I'm off probation so Vicki from Contracts can't file a slander lawsuit and they don't shitcan me back to Office Technician.