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Happy fucking Labor Day.

I was physically thrown out of goth club and told never to return after slapping a bouncer across the face when he broke me and some chick up from making out.

I don't remember the chick, and I don't remember the bouncer. I'm sure the slapping was well-deserved, though.

The next morning I was pulled over by a cop that looked and sounded like Napoleon Dynamite's aunt, and given a ticket for an apparently non-functional brake light. But only after she scrutinized my license and registration for thirty minutes in her cruiser while we both faced certain death stopped alongside the autobahn.

When she finally handed it to me and said it had to be signed by a peace officer, I asked her if one of the ones at my work in Corrections could do it, and she snapped at me that they weren't real officers. For a brief second, I considered slapping her as well.

And I just noticed the ticket lists me as a male.

Comments

( 11 comments — Leave a comment )
jonn68
Sep. 2nd, 2008 03:55 am (UTC)
1st....what kind of bouncer does that, and 2nd....how do people confused you with a dude???
velouria
Sep. 2nd, 2008 03:58 am (UTC)
1) a total douche and, 2)you decide. it might be the making out with chicks.
jonn68
Sep. 2nd, 2008 04:23 am (UTC)
Geeez. Although the description of the cop is hysterical.
velouria
Sep. 2nd, 2008 11:52 pm (UTC)
juheeez!
jonn68
Sep. 3rd, 2008 03:17 am (UTC)
Are you mocking my quaint midwestern speech patterns? Crimeny!
velouria
Sep. 3rd, 2008 03:43 am (UTC)
nuh, that's my kip impression.
jonn68
Sep. 2nd, 2008 03:56 am (UTC)
I meant confuse. Ah, skip it. I never post any intelligent comments.
daddylovebucket
Sep. 2nd, 2008 04:21 am (UTC)
Sounds like a movie, better write a script.

be prepared for rewrites after the first reading.

velouria
Sep. 2nd, 2008 04:26 am (UTC)
at least we know who'll play the cop.
(Deleted comment)
velouria
Sep. 2nd, 2008 02:12 pm (UTC)
let's just hope columbus day goes smoother.
( 11 comments — Leave a comment )