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Since I'm moving, I've decided to purchase a normal sized person bed and have it delivered to the new place. I'm tired of trying to sleep with internet boyfriends on a tiny twin. Someone's always putting their knee through a wall or falling onto the floor in the middle the night. So I'm going to put my fun sized one in the "Free" section on Craigslist, but I need help with the ad. This is what I've got thus far:

Twin mattress/box/and metal thing. Good shape. Slightly stained, but with Cherry Coke and Mountain Dew, honest. You remove and haul away from upstairs. Not an opportunity for rape, will shoot you.

Comments

( 18 comments — Leave a comment )
(Deleted comment)
velouria
May. 16th, 2009 10:12 pm (UTC)
SIGH.
velouria
May. 16th, 2009 10:14 pm (UTC)
but you and i met on craigslist, remember?
(Deleted comment)
velouria
May. 16th, 2009 11:54 pm (UTC)
yes huh. nearly identical ad.
(Deleted comment)
velouria
May. 17th, 2009 03:36 am (UTC)
well it certainly wasn't senseofhumor.com
(Deleted comment)
jonn68
May. 16th, 2009 11:12 pm (UTC)
*spits orange juice*

Just leave it on the street and run like hell.
velouria
May. 16th, 2009 11:43 pm (UTC)
what is it with you people's inability to keep orange juice in your face around me.
jonn68
May. 17th, 2009 05:51 am (UTC)
It's either my misspent childhood watching old sitcoms or because you're funny as hell.
hatchelt
May. 17th, 2009 10:18 am (UTC)
you say "not an opportunity", Craigslist sees "opportunity...?...profit"

velouria
May. 17th, 2009 06:35 pm (UTC)
it IS an opportunity to gain a tiny bed, just not to assault a chick. unless you want to be tasered in the nuts.
hatchelt
May. 17th, 2009 06:50 pm (UTC)
i'll bet your boobs there's someone on craiglist who wants to both rape AND get tasered in the nuts. the bed would be a byproduct.
velouria
May. 17th, 2009 07:01 pm (UTC)
there is? obviously i've been looking in the wrong places for a soul mate all these years.
botrinks
May. 19th, 2009 08:53 am (UTC)
One mattress for sale - heavy use - smells like a girl - as seen on camcontacts.com. Also worn panties for sale.

Can ship to Japan.
velouria
May. 19th, 2009 01:57 pm (UTC)
you sir, are a bad editor.
botrinks
May. 19th, 2009 04:03 pm (UTC)
Braindamage.
( 18 comments — Leave a comment )