"Hi, this is Colleen with uhhhh, blaaaarrrrgh. Fuck me." And then I hit pound, because on 99.9% of the world's voice mails, there's a review your message, delete your message, start over, etc. option. Well this one says, "Thank you. Message deposited."
Godfuckingdamnitsonofabitch. I told the Associate Warden of California State Prison Los Angeles to fuck me. I don't even know what he looks like.