I need to get to a mailbox to pay my rent. I could walk, but I'm afraid to go outside. They are all wearing helmets, and I don't have one. I have little devil horns that I just bought for Halloween. That's the extent of head gear that I own. Well, there's also the cat ears.
Edit: They took the whole tree! There is but a stump they will later explode at 6:00 AM tomorrow morning, no doubt. I flagged down a wandering guy in a hat and asked him why he'd done such a thing.
"Had to. It wasn't safe."
"But it was just sitting there!"
He shrugged. "You want me to take that one?" He pointed toward the little one in my yard.
"What!? No. No!"
And as I went back inside, I wondered why the hell I would have the power to tell dudes to cut down trees anyway. What a sad world.