So yesterday, my sister thought it would be a good idea for us to take her kids to a roller rink. Not so much, because they mostly just sat on the bench and made faces. "I don't like skating," her daughter whined over and over again. I told her she should write a book entitled as such and could include multiple chapters on related topics, such as "I don't like brushing my teeth," and "I don't like beans," and so on. A must read.
I managed not to fall down, but the 7 year-olds who insisted on weaving in and out of my path were not so lucky. I left a trail of little kid carnage in my wake, and then couldn't help but to laugh hysterically and prolongedly every time one went down, garnering very dirty looks from all the parents. God I'm an asshole.
The music left something to be desired as well. The best song they played was Thriller, at which point they also turned off the lights. Black kids in black hoodies were no longer visible and when they darted in front of me, we all tripped and stumbled into the wall. Somehow I managed to stay upright, but did get shanked by a splinter in the wall when I collided with it. It's still in my arm.
The finale was Beyonce. It's quite a sight to see so many little kids singing "If you like it than you should've put a ring on it." Yeah, good luck with that. I'm almost 30 and no one's put a ring on it.