Velouria (velouria) wrote,


These are the things I left at home Friday morning: phone, diary, brain cells lost when I hit my head on the garage door - brutally hit my head on the garage door. I hadn't let it roll up all the way because the sound was irritating the shit out of me. Noticed I'd left the porch light on and so turned around to go back in, and walked right into the fucking garage door. Did not, however, manage to remember either my phone or my journal. So this entry is what I have pieced together from my fractured memory.

I watched The Secret (the Law of Attraction) the other day, and found it to be more metaphysical and less awful than I anticipated. I put it into effect that morning by envisioning the sweetass parking space in the garage by the stairs being free, and when I got there, it was free. In the 9 months I've been parking in that garage, it's never once been free. So I have decided to move on to thinking of a luxurious head of brown hair (not the current baboon's ass-red I have dyed my premature grays), straight white teeth, clear peachy skin, and shiny shiny eyes. When all this has been accomplished, I will aim to conquer financial matters. I should probably start with fiscal matters, because how am I going to pay for brown hair and white teeth? But I'm not supposed to worry about the how. Apparently, the how is the Universe's domain. My job is to envision and feel happy about it whilst doing so, as if I already have it. It is difficult to feel happy about what you don't have. Hard to be elated about your bad silent film star haircut when you want to look like Kim Kardashian.

Currently, I have lipstick on me teeth, so the Universe has it's work cut out for it. I suppose I could just whiten my teeth and not dye my hair baboon's ass-red, but again, Universe's burden. I printed out my very dismal bank balance and replaced it with $7,000. I figure this is a respectable enough figure - enough to pay off debts and get me to Hawaii. Yes, Hawaii. That's my third goal.

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