Velouria (velouria) wrote,


I have had perhaps the shittiest 2.5 days of 2011 the past 2.5 days. I write to you now from my home computer where I have ditched the last .5 days of the "3 Day Rulemaking" class my boss enrolled me in. Despite not promoting me, ever, he thought I would benefit from learning what the Analysts learn. Dear God. I have never felt more out of place, and more horrified by subject matter in all of my 30 years. That includes a lot of horrifying subject matter. Statistics in Psychology courses. Longs Drugs staff meetings. Business Information Services training. You get the point. Well, all of that has been trumped by this class. Sitting around a small table with 4 stuffy lawyers listening to a guy who looks like God drone on and on about regulations while the lawyers nod and shake their heads in their serious lawyer manner and raise their lawyer hands to pick apart what God says every 5 minutes.

When God paused at the end of the day to inquire of us if we had any questions, I seriously considered asking him how I had gotten to this point in my life. Where exactly had I gone wrong that I ended up in a room full of state lawyers being taught how to implement regulations (which interpret and make specific statutes). I could not manage to pay attention, and instead admired the hair and pregnant-status of the very pretty pregnant lawyer at the next table. It's true, I'm jealous of pregnant ladies lately. I know by the time I get around to having my own baby, it'll be autistic. I suppose I could stop taking my birth control, but I know my boyfriend hunted this down and reads it. Hi boyfriend!

By 11:45 this morning, I was about to have an episode of Tourette's. I envisioned standing up and clearing the table of the lawyer chicks crap beside me and screaming curse words until I was escorted from the room. The nicest part of that fantasy was the leaving part. I made it to lunch break at nooner before quietly gathering my stuff and slipping away. When my boss inevitably asks me how it goes and what I learned, I feel I will not be able to lie. Like I should tell him that what I learned was that I'm off my life path. I was never meant to do this, and it's a crying shame that I am.

I need to put a little more effort into changing things.
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