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People are still having sex.

I'm not having a good week sexually. Sunday night I got drunk and propositioned my female roommate for a makeout session. She declined. She didn't talk to me for a few days until I apologized, at which point she blamed my alcoholism and not my latent lesbianism. I'm inclined to think it's the latter, but we all know I'm a big drunk too.

Wednesday night I (had a drink and) painted my nails while watching Jeopardy. The boyfriend was working on his car in the garage for HOURS. Jeopardy is only a half an hour, and then the inferior Wheel of Fortune comes on. Blugh. So when he finally came back in that night, I (had a few more drinks and) drunkenly asked him to "put it in my ass." He declined. Instead he asked me if I'd even noticed the lawn had been mowed. "No," I said, "I thought you were working on your car."

"Well I wasn't, and you need to learn to rake."

"Learn to rake?" I said incredulously, wondering how the topic had gone from anal sex to yardwork.

"Yes, raaaake. Have you ever heard of it?"

He got up and left me in my Hello Kitty neglige and went out to presumably rake, I don't know. What a world, what a world.


( 8 comments — Leave a comment )
(Deleted comment)
Apr. 1st, 2012 10:13 pm (UTC)
I live with my boyfriend and another couple.
Apr. 5th, 2012 11:54 am (UTC)
So I check in on lj for the first time in 2 years... thankyou
Apr. 7th, 2012 05:35 pm (UTC)
no prob.
Apr. 7th, 2012 03:59 am (UTC)
The scandals I miss not logging on to LJ! For the record, your life is so much more interesting than mine. No joke, I'm in bed listening to Richard Marx's "hold on to the nights," while watching some b/w movie on TCM. *sigh* lol
Apr. 7th, 2012 05:38 pm (UTC)
Nothing actually happened though!

My favorite Richard Marx is "Right Here Waiting." It used to make me cry in 2nd grade.
Apr. 7th, 2012 11:44 pm (UTC)
Maybe nothing happened, but your miles ahead than me lol....

"Right Here waiting" makes me cry and I'm not even in second grade.

Have you ever seen that weird album cover where Richard Marx looks like a creepy rapist?
Apr. 9th, 2012 11:39 pm (UTC)
Isn't it called "Repeat Offender," creepily enough?
Apr. 10th, 2012 02:58 am (UTC)
OMG! I didn't even know that! lol this adds more depth and complexity! The creepy rapist picture is on his "greatest hits" album... he did that while he was working as an hitman for the mafia

( 8 comments — Leave a comment )