Velouria (velouria) wrote,

  • Mood:

People are still having sex.

I'm not having a good week sexually. Sunday night I got drunk and propositioned my female roommate for a makeout session. She declined. She didn't talk to me for a few days until I apologized, at which point she blamed my alcoholism and not my latent lesbianism. I'm inclined to think it's the latter, but we all know I'm a big drunk too.

Wednesday night I (had a drink and) painted my nails while watching Jeopardy. The boyfriend was working on his car in the garage for HOURS. Jeopardy is only a half an hour, and then the inferior Wheel of Fortune comes on. Blugh. So when he finally came back in that night, I (had a few more drinks and) drunkenly asked him to "put it in my ass." He declined. Instead he asked me if I'd even noticed the lawn had been mowed. "No," I said, "I thought you were working on your car."

"Well I wasn't, and you need to learn to rake."

"Learn to rake?" I said incredulously, wondering how the topic had gone from anal sex to yardwork.

"Yes, raaaake. Have you ever heard of it?"

He got up and left me in my Hello Kitty neglige and went out to presumably rake, I don't know. What a world, what a world.
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