Velouria (velouria) wrote,
Velouria
velouria

Takin what they're givin...

 In my six-plus years of working for the state, I have collected a series of things that annoy the shit out of me about the sea of cubicles I reside in. This is omitting the actual people inside those cubicles, because Heaven knows I have previously covered how much shit they annoy out of me.

- "No Whining" stickers. What the hell? The sticker on your SUV informs me that this is the land of the free (because of the brave), so I can whine wherever I friggen feel the need to.

- Little hanging signs that read, among other things, "Life just doesn't get much better than this," in a non-ironical manner. What? Are you out of your Goddamn mind?

- "Clean up your own mess, your mom isn't here" plastered all over every breakroom. Fuck you. My mom never cleaned anything except her hands and her cats in a fit of OCD.

- Children's artwork. I know I don't have any kids, but I have been bestowed artwork by some of them on Take Your Spawn to Work Day, and I promptly threw it away. You know why? Because it was God-awful.

- No decorations whatsoever. Come on. You spend absolute scads of your life here and you can't even go to Target and buy a zen garden?

- Radios blaring 1. Michael McDonald and 2. Leann Rhymes asking how she should live without you/Faith Hill asking how she should breathe without you. See scene from 40 Year-Old Virgin wherein Paul Rudd's character has a progressive nervous breakdown over such a matter.

There's more, but I have developed a facial tick just formulating this list.
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