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Etc.

I forgot Alyson Hannigan. I can't really hate on her because she appears so nice in those Head and Shoulders commercials. Who hates on Alyson Hannigan?

Today I went to Burger King with a coworker who spoke entirely of Jesus the whole time I was shoving a double Whopper in my face. He asked me questions which seemed to indicate concern, and then followed them up with the fact that I needed Jesus in my life. I told him the same thing I tell everyone who asks, which is that I believe God is everywhere and in everything, and that I don't need to go through one dude to get to him, no matter how cool that dude may be.

"What does a car run on?" he asked me.

"Well, gas usually," I said through a mouthful of fries before moving onto my mango smoothie.

"Right, and what do we run on?"

"Jesus?" I said, scrunching my face up behind the smoothie in genuine curiosity.

"Right!"

Later on the way back, we were nearly creamed by a speeding car whilst turning into the parking lot. I told him I was sorry I'd almost killed him and he told me not to worry, because, "I know where I'm going when I die."

Nice guy otherwise, but I wanted to shove him out the door and into the path of that oncoming car.

Comments

( 3 comments — Leave a comment )
(Deleted comment)
velouria
Jul. 18th, 2012 09:20 pm (UTC)
Seriously. Implying I'm going to hell while he's in my car that I just took his ass to Burger King in. How rude.
thunderstrike78
Jul. 18th, 2012 07:12 pm (UTC)
You should have gone with me to a former coworker's church once. It was a special occasion, you see, and they had a special guest speaking. I felt like I was trapped in the fucking 700 Club. He just kept repeating that he could Ofeel Jeeeeeeesus in me!" The kids and I started looking around for a side door or a trap door or perhaps some drapes we could light on fire to cover our escape. Let me tell you, there were scary motherfuckers in that church. Jebus.

So yeah, it could be worse.
velouria
Jul. 18th, 2012 09:27 pm (UTC)
I will make it a point not to attend church with him.
( 3 comments — Leave a comment )