Velouria (velouria) wrote,

Just Say Yes.

So quitting my meds resulted in going stonecold, batshit crazy the entire holiday season. From Thanksgiving to New Years, I spent all my time in bed weeping and shaking and holding a bottle of maximum strength sleepy vitamins (No one will give me an actual sleeping pill prescription) and fantasizing about either flinging myself off the Golden Gate Bridge or emptying the entire bottle of maximum strength sleepy vitamins into my mouth and washing it down with Caramel Kiss Smirnoff vodka. Let's face it, I can't be arsed to drive to the bay area just to die (or in general, fuck) so sleepy vitamins it was. The boyfriend knocked them out of my hands and asked me, "What if you don't wake up?"

"I don't want to wake up," I sobbed, which understandably angered him. Who wants to wake up next to a bloated corpse?

I went back to my lady psychiatrist earlier than planned and told her, inbetween the weeping, what was up. I'd quit the Lexapro because it had made me fat and I could not concentrate on anything but Robot Chicken episodes and horoscopes. She nodded and prescribed me Zoloft, which I took for nearly a month, and although was less stonecold, batshit crazy, true, I was not as sane as I had been prior. Another trip to lady psychiatrist, and I am back on the Lexapro and able to write this.

The moral of the story, kids, is that just because you are feeling sane and cannot sit through a Lord of the Rings movie, does not mean you should go off your meds. You are likely feeling sane because of the meds and should continue taking them even though you cannot fit in your Paul Frank pajamas. Needing meds does not mean you are weak. It just means you're crazy.
Tags: crazy, lexapro, meds, zoloft
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