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How Do I Get You Alone?

So we got a house. I no longer fantasize about wrestling the television remote away from anyone and beating them about the head with it. I am free to watch Parks and Recreation in the evenings or do, you know, WHATEVER I WANT.

The new neighbor is really nice despite the fact that I simultaneously blared Heart's "What About Love" from my office whilst throwing up in my backyard just now. I realized how loud it was as I was bent over a pile of rocks hurling strawberryorangebanana Crystal Lite from the depths of my guts. I thought I'd be nice and pull in the Green Waste can from our sidewalk instead of letting my boyfriend do it. WELL I SHOULD HAVE LET HIM DO IT. It had the remnants of something not at all green in it and it smelled disgusting. After yaking, I ran into the house and sprayed Burberry perfume everywhere, which is so strong it normally gives me a puking headache. It did the trick (masking the scent not giving me a puking headache).

Other problems include The Boyfriend spending all his free time at the old place, the old roommates wanting to come over and do laundry (That's a negative, Ghostrider), and dinner. I purchased this apron to aid in the process, but it doesn't seem to be working. *Shrug.*

But the good outweighs any bad. I have my own office which I've ordered a lilac sleeper sofa for. I've put shit like this and this all over every surface I own. I bought and put together swively barstools which I eat Grapenuts each morning in. The Boyfriend got me 3 Ikea dressers so I can sufficiently stuff every wifebeater I possess in one. And best of all, I have my privacy and sanity back.

Life is good. Cept for whatever's in the Green Waste can. That's got to go.



( 6 comments — Leave a comment )
(Deleted comment)
Apr. 28th, 2013 01:36 pm (UTC)
Would you like to come battle the alien life form in the Green Waste can? You're into sci-fi.
Apr. 27th, 2013 01:04 am (UTC)
rock on!
Apr. 28th, 2013 01:34 pm (UTC)
Completely! With some brand new components!
Apr. 28th, 2013 12:56 am (UTC)
WHy are they doing their laundry? Lame!
Apr. 28th, 2013 01:33 pm (UTC)
I took the washer and dryer...because they were mine.
Apr. 28th, 2013 06:52 pm (UTC)
That's when you're like "sorry, bitches, mah washer and dryer are no longer yourssssss"
( 6 comments — Leave a comment )