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Dead Girls Don't Cry.

So according to a cat scan at the emergency room, I have multiple kidney stones on both sides like an old dying person. I'm unsure, because I haven't seen the urologist as of yet, but I attribute it to my shitty shit diet and poor attitude. Early Friday morning I woke up feeling crappier than I usually do (headache, enough fatigue to consider drowning in the shower). This time it was stabbing, twisting, burning side pain. I crawled out of my lilac loveseat sleeper and drug my dying ass down the hall to my sleeping ex-boyfriend's room where I inquired if he was awake.

"Why, do you want to cuddle?"

"Nooo," I moaned, clutching my kidney. "I'm dying."

So he was kind enough to drive me to the hospital in his car that I projectile vomed in. That seems to be my signature move. Once we arrive, they gathered urine, blood, and shoved me in a tube that takes pictures of your innards, where they discovered kidney stones the size of rocks down by the river. They shot me in the ass full of painkillers, sent me home with more, and on the way out, I asked what was next.

"The urologist may break them up with lazers, soundwaves, medication, or you could pass them." I don't want to pass rocks down by the river, I thought, hoping they would lazer me, but wondering what all that would entail. I went home and called the urologist who of course, closed at nooner. I plan to go to work tomorrow and call him again. Here's hoping I don't have another episode.

BTW, I've been sobersaurus since April 4 if you're worried about that. If anything it's the half gallon of milk a day I drink + complete lack of water.

Comments

( 1 comment — Leave a comment )
fireyice01
Nov. 26th, 2013 12:35 am (UTC)
You act like you projectile vomited a happy meal or chunks of something. Really, aside from a couple drops on the seat and floor mat, almost everything sprayed on the dash and windshield. Took almost no time at all to clean it up. I'm glad you weren't actually dying though
( 1 comment — Leave a comment )