My semi-long distance boyfriend, and I say semi because I have dated men in Minneapolis and Rhode Island and this one is merely deep in the central valley of California, informed me last night that he was not going to move to my (much bigger, less smellier) town. Period. Because he has a son and a mom to take care of in his tiny, smelly town. He loves me, but not like he loves his son. What would I know about that, right? Nothing. I'm an aging, kindergothabilly lady with no children and not even a hamster anymore. What do I know about love at all? I'm constantly accused by everyone around me of being a cold, callous, selfish bitch. Why even bother anymore? And I shouldn't be allowed to buy plants, because I can't keep them alive either. I can't have anything.