Realized with disgust that I'm missing the baby shower today at work. I will have to sit here and read The Hungry Hungry Caterpillar myself. Remember when it was human-sized? Yeah it's not anymore. It's sized for gerbil pigs and twice as much money. The Papyrus card I got her with the sparkles and the knit booties was just as much money and all I know is I better get this stuff to her before the damn thing pops out. I think today was her last day. It's not like she'll let me babysit, cause who the hell would do that?
My experience with children lately is limited to my boyfriend's son when I'm down in his town. He asked me to watch him in Walmart while he went to the car and of course the kid took off running after him. I left my position at the photo counter where I was trying to fit a picture in the locket I'd been given and sprinted after him in my always too small denim skirt. When I found him, he had no intention of coming back with me and struggled all the way smack into a cardboard display of that M&M chick. I looked back at the casualties (kid + M&M chick) in horror. Had I torn his arm off, I wondered as he looked up at me confused and sad. I approached him slowly before he then broke out in a grin and began tearing through the tampon aisle. Goddammnit, I thought, my skirt hiking up over my arse as I ran. I could never handle this.
Let it be known, that I am successful with gerbil pigs, however. I am watching my friend Sarah's while she's in Mexico for a week. I expect he will be alive and well upon her return.