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The Importance of Being Earnest

I apologized to my boss for my recent mental situation that caused me to miss so much time the previoius month, told him that I would turn that around and wanted to do better. I asked Jesus Guy's opinion on what I could do to get ahead in the workplace, and boy, did he lay it on me. I prefaced it that I considered him a friend (I don't now) and valued his input. He informed me that the general consensus was not that I am lazy, which I expected, but that I am a dumbass who asks for help too often and that gussies herself up like a Tim Burton character with all the black clothing, black hair, and - he twirled his fingers around his eyes to reference my eyeliner - silly makeup. I was the night to the day that was the delightful girl that sat next to me, and I always looked sad.

I carefully chose the most hurtful thing he'd said, which to me was my black hair.

"I started going gray at 18," I said, "I dye my hair out of necessity."

"Gray would be more cheerful than black," he said, adding that he encouraged his own wife not to disguise her grays. I looked down at my shirt, which was pink.

"I don't wear black all the time,"

"You do. You're like some kind of gothic Kim Kardashian."

"And anyway," I started, my voice faltering, "You're saying I should completely change who I am for my job?"

"I'm telling you people's perception of you. Our Chief said she liked my facial hair once, so I grew a beard." He stroked his beard. "You do what you gotta do."

That's fucked up, I thought.Then I pondered what he said about looking sad. So people disliked me because I occasionally asked for their assistance and apparently looked sad doing it. That's fucked up, I thought again.

"I like Tim Burton," I said, finally. He shrugged.

I thanked him for his time and left the conference room, all the while ruminating over all the outrageous, Jesus-offending things he'd said and done during our time employed together. Not once had I told him to stop publically pushing salvation through The Lord, that he was a dick for going to his and only his birthday luncheon, or that he was an asshole for ripping up the flyers in the face of the Union guys who passed them out.

But then again, he never asked me.

Comments

( 3 comments — Leave a comment )
ba_doinger
Oct. 3rd, 2014 03:30 am (UTC)
YOu need to tell Jesus to go to hellllll.

Seriously, I don't get any of his "helpful" advice... it sounded like he was kicking someone when they were down.

Also is he some hipster douche? I can see it...

PS: I have no idea why Natalie Merchant's "Thank you" song popped into my head...
fireyice01
Oct. 3rd, 2014 05:34 pm (UTC)
Wow... tell me how you really feel, Jesus Guy...
I realize you were soliciting advice, and he was just trying to help, but shit!

Some points to ponder though -

When you're around happy people, you tend to be happier, while when around sad people, you tend to be sadder. (in general, not you specifically) It's true that emotions can be contagious. So I see where being the 'sad girl' would get you less people wanting to be around you. I wouldn't want to go hang out with someone that was just going to bring me down either.

I don't suggest you change yourself to fit in at work, but you might consider the fact that your whole persona revolves around a Wednesday Addams-type of character, and that by being so deeply entrenched in the depressing and dark, you do actually depress yourself.

You have often stated that you're unhappy, and that you've never been happy. Maybe your fascination with negativity is contributing to that?
(Deleted comment)
( 3 comments — Leave a comment )