I dragged this one to a Day of the Dead celebration after we left the restaurant. He's Italian and had no idea what the hell was going on. "Death!" I volunteered, "very cute death." He nodded, and stood staring at an altar. "So this people are dead?" he asked motioning toward all the photographs. "Yes," I confirmed, aking a mental note that it would probably be difficult to get him to agree to a Day of the Dead themed-wedding. Not on that day or anything, but you know, in the future. He bought me a hair flower. Two actually, because they were two for three dollars.
"What do you want?" I'd asked him point-blank over my pile of alfredo, expecting him to say anal sex. The black guys that hit on me earlier while I waited for him in the coffee shop practically had.
"I want to settle down, Buy a plot, build a house. Have a couple more kids." He, like my ex, has a six year old. One that he has full custody of because the mother is "level two crazy." Well I wouldn't tell him that I was at least level two crazy, more than likely three or four. Knowing that, I thought "a couple kids" might be a a bit much for me, especially considering he already had one. But hey, if he was going to build a house to put them in... I weighed the pros and cons as we walked around the altars.
"Are you two together?" a guy shouted at us from the side. My date, Mike, (I'm not going to bother changing his name with a name like that) hesitantly said yes. "When was the last time you guys went to Tahoe?" the guy yelled. Puzzled, I told him this was our first date. "For real? So you haven't been together a year?" I realized he was selling timeshares in Tahoe and wondered why he couldn't deduce that we hadn't been together a year from "this is our first date." I told him for real and we moved on.
Mike had gotten into a fender bender on the way to the coffee shop to meet me, so I felt obligated to bang him. I didn't though. We parted ways without banging. I did text him good morning when I woke up today. He responded that his kid was puking. I guess puking kid trumps me, so I set my phone down and resumed eating Halloween candy for breakfast.
And that brings us to now. I don't know what fucking time it is due to daylight savings, but I'm still eating Halloween candy.