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Afternoons and Coffee Spoons

I forgot to mention that the last time I stepped foot in Starbucks, which was regretably before they busted out with the salted caramel mochas and pumpkin spice lattes, I got into fisticufs with another Colleen. I'd been sitting in the uncomfy little chair rammed uncomfily against who I referred to in my head as "some twat" for about 45 minutes when the baristo finally shouted, "Colleen!" and didn't mangle it too bad. Cheerfully, I stood up to retreive my white mocha when I realized Some Twat was reaching for the very same white mocha.

"That's mine," I said, immediately spiraling into aggro-mode."I'm Colleen." I took it off the counter and Some Twat's hand flew up and grabbed the white mocha, shocking me into full on aggro-mode.

"I'm Colleen," she said as we stood at the counter gripping the white mocha together. "I also got a white mocha." Clutching tight to the mocha and staring into the old eyes of this withered, twatty Colleen, it occured to me that it was 2015 after all, and this was probably Future Colleen visiting present-day, and that she was still unpleasant. This displeased me. As I waited for the space time continuum to rupture and for me to pass out, I became aware that she had let go of the mocha.

"That's fine, it's probably yours," she relented. The force of the mocha snapping back splashed it on my already not-cute shirt I'd chosen for the day from the fat pile in my room. I opened my mouth to tell Future Colleen where she could stick the white mocha, but ended up muttering thanks and turning tail.

In the parking lot outside my car, I sipped the white mocha and realized with horror that there was no whip cream, and that this had been concocted of some sort of fake milk. It *was* Future Colleen's mocha, and Future Colleen was more health-conscious than I.

As I drove back to work, I decided I'd avoid Starbucks altogether for a little while and lose some weight while I'm at it. Flash forward to now, and I've lost about 7 pounds. Hopefully all in the chins.

Comments

( 6 comments — Leave a comment )
(Deleted comment)
velouria
Oct. 1st, 2015 05:26 am (UTC)
I did snatch an almanac from her.
robz0mbie
Sep. 26th, 2015 01:34 am (UTC)
Your journal just marked my previous ingenious comment/image as spam. :P
velouria
Oct. 1st, 2015 05:25 am (UTC)
I don't see it.
robz0mbie
Oct. 1st, 2015 07:48 pm (UTC)
Okay, I just gave you a Livejournal link to view spam, and it STILL marked the comment as spam because it had a link in it.

Just go to your LJ inbox and look to the left for the suspicious comments link.
botrinks
Sep. 28th, 2015 07:39 pm (UTC)
You've seen the 'Im Tyler Durden' scene from fight club right?1 ...instead of shooting yourself in the face... it just works.
velouria
Oct. 1st, 2015 05:26 am (UTC)
Oh I get it, lolski.
( 6 comments — Leave a comment )