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Bah Humbug

I'm doing my annual reading of A Christmas Carol, and if it's supposed to give me some sort of awakening to humanity, it's not. I just identify with Scrooge (pre-Xmas morning Scrooge) more and more each year. I was dozing on the couch this afternoon when I became aware of a really loud Unicef commercial telling me over and over and over that just 10 dollars a month would allow me to virtually feed some cold, hungry kid somewhere. I shouted SHUT UP as I groped for the remote to turn it off. I then threw the remote into one of my mannequin heads, knocking the false eyelashes I'd stuck on it clear off.

I put my head back on the pillow and thought of my earlier adventure at the mall with dis-ease. I'd just come from Barnes and Noble and was trying to make my way to Macy's to get that stupid applesauce scented perfume for my ungrateful sister, when some girl waving a clipboard around attempted to stop me. I said, "No thanks," without stopping, which caused her to call, "Alrighty then!" after me as if I was a monster. I thought of turning back around and beating her about the head with my purse, didn't because I was on a tight schedule.

I sit in my cubicle from 6:50 AM til almost 4:30ish every day of my life in utter misery, and if I want to spend all the money I've made there on shimmery eyeshadow palletes from Sephora, I WILL. If you are cold and/or hungry, try sitting in a cubicle from 6:50 AM til 4:30ish everyday. You will stay warm during the day, and then you can spend your money on food, shelter, and may even have some left over for whatever you were waving your stupid clipboard in my face about.