Velouria (velouria) wrote,

Our Summer Turned to Fall

My wedding fell through due to my other half not wanting a wedding. No photographer, he said. No dinner, no this, no that, no anything. No friends, no family. So no wedding. He says I just wanted a wedding irregardless of who I'm marrying, which is not true. I say he's shitting all over my dreams, but whatever, right? I can't tell him any of this because I'm "complaining," so I guess I'll just continue to complain on the Internet. Don't give me shit for complaining on the Internet, then.

I had told the girls at work and even mailed out flower n skulls Save-the-Date to *my* friends and family (wasn't allowed to do his) and, as written about, tried on a few floofy ballgowns in front of my sisters and sent my bridesmaids a few domineering emails about when and where to be. So that's my wedding experience for this life.

I've been frequenting a Spiritual Institute, which happens to be located a couple streets away, since this all went down. I'm taking some class on loving yourself and your body or some shit, which has always been difficult for me. Especially lately. I have trichotillomania, a self-mutilating, obsessive-compulsive pull-out-your hair sort of dealy that I've been inflicted with since I was 11. I do it off and on, but when stressed, go apeshit with it. Recently, I pulled out the whole crown of my head and couldn't stop doing it when I got home from work in the evenings. No parting or combing over could help, so I went to the bathroom one evening and shaved it all off with my shitty pink Venus razor.

It's more difficult than you might think and hurt like a bitch given all the damage I'd already done to my scalp. "What have I done?" I channeled 2007 Britney as I stared at my reflection in the mirror. Definitely not getting married now.

But it's been a couple weeks and my head is almost fuzzy now. I haven't pulled any of it out and I don't plan to ever again. Kind of like I don't drink booze any longer. Like that.

Wigs are hot and sucky, and when combined with my Kabuki makeup, result in me looking like more of a dragqueen than I already might have. So I can't wait for it to grow out to a socially acceptable length. Not sure when the shit that will be.

No, I haven't been promoted either and I don't think I ever will be there, as I don't kiss ass and attend annual BBQs. Gee, it's like I'm off my lifepath or something. I am taking a spirtual healing class next month, as I'm always told I'm a healer by every psychic, evar. Maybe people will pay me to perform Reiki voodoo on them someday.

  • Post a new comment


    default userpic

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.
← Ctrl ← Alt
Ctrl → Alt →
← Ctrl ← Alt
Ctrl → Alt →