Velouria (velouria) wrote,

88 Lines About 44 Women

They interviewed dozens of short, wide women in uninspired pantsuits with lesbian haircuts for my ex-job last week. Well, and one black guy named "Big Bobby Love."

There was a written component taking place in the conference room across from my cubicle I watched them all struggle mightlily with. One emerged sweating bullets, tugging at the scarf around her neck.

"What the hell is is a 5% micro business discount?" I heard her mumbling to the personnel liason who was escorting her to part II.

Whichever lesbian they hire, I will have to train her and then organize her farewell luncheon at Chili's six month later and I'm so over it already. But I guess that's why they pay me the big bucks.

Have another prison roof walkabout in Vacaville w/ Jesus Guy on Tuesday. I can't promise I won't push him off of it into the general population yard down below if he pisses me off again. He's been an even bigger dick lately.

Speaking of dicks (literal ones), Sis is convinced Chris Cornell died accidentally doing that jacking off/strangle yourself deal dudes do.

As she explained this theory to me, she got a text. I leaned over and looked at her screen. It read, "I'm horny."

I instructed her to text dude back "have you tried autoerotic asphxyiation?" but she would not comply. She just rambled on about Kwai Chang Caine monk David Carradine, the lead singer of INXS, and possibly Robin Williams of Mork and Mindy fame having died whacking it.

I think this is certainly plausible, but also likely that Courtney Love was was lurking around the shadows in each case.

Yes I do think she killed Kurt. Don't @ me.
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