Velouria (velouria) wrote,

  • Mood:

Try This for Sighs

Me again. Friday evening. Last night Teri and I went to Chili's to use my 10-dollar gift card imparted to me by an anonymous source at work for Christmas, where I consumned at least a dozen different appetizers featuring a cheese-theme on one plate. And no, not fancy cheese that could somehow be construed as socially or otherwise acceptable, but things such as fried cheese and nacho cheese and the like. Then, rather suddenly, I caught a glimpse of myself in a reflective surface of sorts and instantly became irreversibly disheartened. I could not astertain where my "chin" and boobs began or ended, and the mullet I had tied back in the sort of ponytail that looked more attractive on Paul Revere and later Adam Ant was the icing on the unsightly cake.

So that was my first fairly low moment of 2018, really. I could not make myself utter much to her the remainder of our dinner, and eventually shuffled back out into the night and toward my car to drive back here once more.Today, my day off, I went to lunch (yet more eating) with Josh and Sarah because of plans cemented into existance prior to seeing myself in a reflective surface that I felt an obligatiion to fulfil. It was not terribe, despite Josh's perfunctory replies to my conversational questions about life over his spaghetti. Not more than half an hour after we'de been there, they insisted they hurry back to the office on account of the new, micro-management they were under. Fortunately for me, nary a rat's ass is given as to how much time I spend away from my desk at my own place of business. Granted, most days I spend lunch hunched over my (very dirty) keyboard, salami and cheese (yes, yet more cheese) in hand, as I field phone calls and emails from fellow civil servants.

I have just made espresso with Slimfast shake powder (my Swiss Miss cocoa has gone bad) and am starting to think that may have been in poor judgement. What is there to be awake for at this moment? I have already acted quite desperados over the internet this evening, posting semi-erotic pictures of my new harness bra (which I nearly hung myself tyring to squeeze into the straps of, by the way) on Instagram and informing Facebook that I had finished cleaning my bathroom with Scrubbing Bubbles and that any friend or relative who wished to could come over to visit/pee. Not a single comment was made on that invitation!

I suppose I will wait two hours for the caffeine to dissolve in my system before I take downers and sleep. Or I could take downers now and maybe actually die of a heart attack. That does not sound especiallty appealing, however. But I'm undecided.
Tags: cheese, lameassery, loneliness
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