Velouria (velouria) wrote,
Velouria
velouria

  • Location:
  • Mood:
  • Music:

Prison Bound

I'm in Tulare. Tomorrow at the absolute asscrack of dawn, I have to drive to prison in Nowherseville, Central Valley, California, to oversee my purchase of a housing unit roof. I hope they got a lift for me. Last time the construction dudes just threw a shadey-ass looking Home Depot ladder on the side of the building expecting me to first climb it and then hurl myself 20 feet down over some fucking razorwire.

Bitch, PLEASE. I guess I behave a little like Princess Vespa from Space Balls with her giant hairdryer in the desert, but I just can't even. My title is "Analyst." What other Analyst has to perform Double Dare-esque stunts of the deadly variety in prisons all up and down the state? They might as well just dump a bucket of slime on me at the end of the morning. I'll just prepare myself for it

I have been listening to a lot of Trever Something lately, and GOD DAMN, DO I LOVE THIS HUMAN.




I want to be his betrothed and become 'Colleen Something.' I'd live in his native Miami, nary a swamp alligator in sight of course, soaking in the synthesizers and his beautiful voice droning throughout our mansion and drifting outside to the pool where I lay in my pastel pink bikini, sipping virgin pina coladas under the orange-streaked sky.  In this scenario, my ass does not look like the moon and my mullet has grown out to a shimmery, shiny mane of lux black locks that cascade down my bronzed brown back.

Alas.

Pray I don't fall off a prison roof tomorrown into a pit of inmates. Or actually, I don't care. As long as it isn't a slow, painful death. I don't want to be crashing through barbed wire, smashing into a concrete yard below and then be ripped to itty bits by the general pop while I'm still conscious.

Tags: prison, trevor something
Subscribe
  • Post a new comment

    Error

    default userpic

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.
  • 0 comments