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Happy St. Patrick's.

This holiday, oy. On my way to get something for dinner at Boston Market, a drunk guy hanging out of the moon roof of a Subaru wearing a green feather boa scream-slurred something at me. His driver leaned on the horn continuously all the way down Fair Oaks Boulevard. Not sure exactly what moon roof guy was scream-slurring, maybe something about his presumed Irish heritage, although he looked like The Situation on Jersey Shore.

Speaking of heritage, I did that 23&Me thing. It came back today and it's not very shocking, says I'm a pastey-ass white person from the UK (Scotland). I knew that already. Should have kept my hundred bucks.

Ugh the cobbler I had for dessert tasted like a ground up Special K granola bar. Anyway.

On April 4th, it will be six years that I've been alcohol-free. It's weird but lately I have OCD thoughts about drinking the way I have them about breaking my diet whenever I try to diet. Next thing I know I'm Door-Dashing Spaghetti Factory to my house and I don't want to be doing that with booze. I mean, Spaghetti Factory is probably killing me just the same as booze would have given me Cirrhosis, but at least I'm not going to get in my Corolla and run over someone after consuming Sicilian cheese bread. I don't think.

But there are ads all over my Instagram about how I should Uber some Hypnotiq to my house, which just seems like all kinds of wrong, for one thing, and then rather triggering for another. I was never a big fan of spending 40 dollars on a tiny blue bottle of whatever the fuck Hypnotiq was (not alcoholy enough IMO), but it's still offensive to me, okurr?


( 5 comments — Leave a comment )
Mar. 18th, 2019 06:49 pm (UTC)
Oh, this makes Machete SAD!

1. You're still seeing ads
2. You are door-dashing ANYTHING. (Machete don't door-dash.)
3. You drove along in the same vicinity as that drunken moron instead of getting out of his sight in case he did something nefarious
3. You gave a website your hard earned money for nothing
4. You misspelled 'cirrhosis' LOL
Mar. 19th, 2019 01:51 am (UTC)
1. I know, I should not see ads now that I have a profesh journal here.
2. You're right, Door-Dashing is the lowest of the low.
3. I turned into Boston Market as the drunk guy emerged from his moonroof.
4. Well, yes.
5. Okay thank you. You can't count though! :P
Mar. 19th, 2019 02:20 am (UTC)
Hahaha. I was so busy switching the order around that I forgot to look at the numbers. If I had been able to, you know, SEE the comment, I would have noticed this.
Mar. 19th, 2019 02:25 am (UTC)
...Aaaand, I just now noticed you were TRYING to spell Sicilian. Lol I could NOT figure out what kind of bread you were eating. Sounds good, but this Machete don't do cheese. :(
Mar. 19th, 2019 03:00 am (UTC)
Thanks again. My LJ don't do spellcheck!
( 5 comments — Leave a comment )