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That Sunday, That Summer.

This weekend started out poorly, but improved considerably. I started Thursday evening out eating Oreos and wanting to pull out my hair (literally), and ended up back on the MyFitnessPal app and sore from Yoga class today.

My hair is intact and I already feel less bloated and massive from restricting my food intake the last couple of days.

In part I credit my Mom, who told me to think of these urges as a force outside of me, and my dad for coming over today and helping me to understand that it is human nature to indugle in the interest of numbing. My brother has also tried to help me realize that is a marathon, not a race. I think he gets exasperated with me, though.

Just now, I asked myself what I could do to alleviate boredom besides eat, and two things came to mind: I could write, which I have chosen. Or I could sit and feel it, which is next on my list. Supposedly, if you allow yourself to experience the feelings that you obliterate with food or drugs or alcohol or gambling or spending, you will be able to make it through them safely in that moment, and in the future.

I also feel motivated by the changing moons. Although it rained all weekend (which I enjoyed) there was a full moon in Scorpio last night. Scorpio is my moon sign, I've learned, and probably responsible for all the wild emotion to my more rigid Virgo sun sign. Scorpio is a fluid water sign (Virgo is solid Earth), and this last moon is about putting into practice what you have been contemplating and dreaming of previously.

These are illustrations from an artist and intuitive I love on IG (@moonandcactus):


( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
May. 20th, 2019 04:41 am (UTC)
That's waaaay too many full moons for one year. They afflict me with extreme ennui and malevolent malaise. Then a couple days after the moon begins to thin down, I can easily get interested in the usual worthless and insignificant pastimes I ordinarily engage in. Fortunately I have no food to speak of, or drugs or money at my house, so those obliterations are out. Yoga is too exotic for me, and I'm sure it's difficult. I had a friend who tried it once, and she fell over on a lady beside her when she tried to stand on one leg.

I like that userpic.

May. 23rd, 2019 12:07 am (UTC)
RE: ...
Only one full moon for every month! There are also New Moons to celebrate.

I did nearly fall over on the tiny woman yoga'ing beside me. I felt like a seal flopping around.

It's Bella Pilar's art in the pic. She's an amazing artiste.
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )