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April 1st, 2014

Where is my Mind

I just emptied half a bottle of Orajel onto the egregious wound in my cheek caused by the truly ungodly wire left by Brunhilde, my German orthodontist. Let me tell you, it feels wonderful. It feels fabulous. It's like egregious cheek wound heroin. I want to sink myself into a bathtub full of Orajel and let it soak into my ears until my brain is numb too. I love you, Orajel. I'm drooling on my chin, but what else is new.