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November 8th, 2014

Tampon Machine

I got these pink velour pants circa 2000 at the thrift store and promptly rubbed toothpaste all over them. They went almost fifteen years without issue and then I get ahold of them. I guess the same could be said for any guy I go out with. Not that I'm going out with any latey. One sent me a message saying he would buy me a tanning bed and a nose job and "take me to the top." I told this to my therapist and I guess I was using my Type O Negative voice, because she replied, "tampon machine?" rather incredulously. She said he was a dick who was probably trying to match wits with me. I think he's simply a dick, because he used your incorrectly.

I can't think of anything else to write, because I've been doing absolutely nothing but procuring shit at work. Then I come home in the evenings and watch various Project Runway spin offs and field messages from dicks. Today I went shopping with my friend at the Gap Outlet, but couldn't stand the clientelle long enough to stay in there with her. I went back outside where the annoying people at the cell phone kiosk didn't even bother to approach me. My friend offered to drag me along to her and her husband's friends house, but I'd had my fill of human contact for the day. I said "Other people, no thanks" and she took this personally, asking me how I thought I could meet a guy when I refused to comingle with "other people."

Oh I manage.