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Because I was forced to see 2 seconds of "Angel" whilst looking desperately for "Arrested Development" last night only to find that it was not being aired because a "very special" presentation of Rocky III was instead (note to FOX: what the fuck) I ended up having a very long, very vivid dream the following evening that I, was a vampire slayer.

I was outfitted in a plaid skirt and knee-high socks, and was beating the shit out of demons for hours upon hours in my high school English class with what looked like Jessica Simpson's husband at my side. I assume it's that guy from Angel. Anyway, this was traumatizing. I don't ever want to be asleep again and sleep was my previous favorite activity.

I'm going to have to get over it though, because being awake isn't going any better. I left a little early on my way to work today to get a burrito from Taco Bell so I wouldn't faint on my shift. All was going well until the entire bottom of the burrito dropped out releasing its contents of mild sauce, sour cream, and beans on my lap while I sat at the light, stunned.

When customers weren't commenting on the fact that it seemed I'd been knifed in the crotch, they said such things as "You must be cold-blooded."

I stopped bagging her mandarin oranges and held them in mid air, simply staring at her vacantly. I couldn't fathom what it was she had meant by that, or could have possibly driven her to say such a thing. The drugstore around me became a sea of old people, and her oranges an abstract object slowing dragging down my arm.

"It's so cold. And you're wearing that little shirt."

Oh. Yeah.

I am reptilian everyone. Didn't you know?


( 19 comments — Leave a comment )
Jan. 20th, 2004 01:55 pm (UTC)
Cold blooded? You must be a Sullenasaur. Who knew, way back when you posted the cam picture with the dino font, that you were simply communicating in your native dialect.

PS Wasn't it Rambo III? And I can't wait until I run my own television network, so I can one-up that decision by submarining my entire sunday night line-up so I can air "Road House."
Jan. 20th, 2004 10:44 pm (UTC)
velourosaurus rex.
i guess it could have been rambo. i saw a huge red font and a roman numeral 3 followed by some stallone parading around. it's all the same to me.
Jan. 20th, 2004 06:20 pm (UTC)
I am so pleased with this.
Jan. 20th, 2004 10:46 pm (UTC)
you know me. people pleaser.
Jan. 20th, 2004 07:53 pm (UTC)
I loce your posts
Jan. 20th, 2004 10:48 pm (UTC)
is that canadian for somethin?
either way, thank you.
Jan. 21st, 2004 09:54 am (UTC)
It's Canadian for..I should be sober when making comments ;)
Jan. 20th, 2004 10:47 pm (UTC)
Hi...I heard you have the best LJ ever and we're both from Sacto. (and you love Maynard too), so I added you. Hope it's ok?
Jan. 20th, 2004 10:54 pm (UTC)
mmmmm...ok. hopefully, we will not have to compete for the title of best local livejournal ever.
Jan. 20th, 2004 10:56 pm (UTC)
I was wrong actually....you were voted best journal on the face of the earth...I could never compete with that.
Jan. 21st, 2004 09:56 pm (UTC)
See, old people shouldn't be allowed to talk because they have no idea what the fuck they're syaing. If you were indeed cold blooded on a cold night, you'd more than likely be dead. However (assuming you survived and we're not conversing with your undead remains), we can safely assume that you are indeed warm-blooded.
Jan. 22nd, 2004 09:31 am (UTC)
maybe i am dead. maybe it's a sixth sense sort of deal.
also: who are you
Jan. 28th, 2004 03:01 pm (UTC)
hum... hi!
Hi! Sorry I didn't say anything before... I added you to my friends list, I hope you don't mind ^_^I love the way you write, your Livejournal is so cool... oh and you like A perfect Circle, too! Coolness...
Jan. 29th, 2004 07:13 am (UTC)
why thank you.
Jan. 30th, 2004 06:50 pm (UTC)
After that.. you can never talk shit about me having fangirls EVER again.

Also: Your tagboard is down. My life is over. Fix it soon or I will die.
Jan. 31st, 2004 06:35 am (UTC)
works for me.

Jan. 31st, 2004 08:56 pm (UTC)
"This tag board does not exist. Make sure you copied the html code correctly and try again."

Jan. 31st, 2004 11:55 pm (UTC)
I don't know whose tagboard you're looking at man, but it aint mine.
Feb. 1st, 2004 01:37 pm (UTC)
You probably banned me :
( 19 comments — Leave a comment )