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It's been a long day, always.

The dumb personal ads I put up for kicks always amaze me. One garnered 163 responses in a couple months. 163. Just for having a vagina. Nothing else. All I said in the ad was that everyone who said they liked hiking was full of shit and not to come in contact with me if you enjoy or claim to enjoy the act of hiking.

Hiking? Hiking is what you do when your plane has crashed in the Andes. You also eat human remains in that instance. So I can bet 90% of the population is not out there hiking as they would have me believe. Especially in this town. What are you hiking through? Bike trails? Auto malls? Grocery stores?

Up until I was about sixteen, I used to respond with reading and writing when one asked my hobbies. Then it occurred to me that I haven't read a book in five years. So I started saying things like "being completely unconscious" and "staring vapidly at the computer for hours and hours" because those are my hobbies. Who the hell enjoys hiking? If you enjoy hiking, more power to you I guess. You're probably a former marine or a firefighter. If so, you have the right to express your love of hiking. But everyone else, kill yourselves. Preferably in some sort of hiking accident you got caught up in when tumbling out of your plane.


( 9 comments — Leave a comment )
Jan. 31st, 2004 05:48 pm (UTC)
for those hobby questions i like to put, "having lots of sex", "zombies"
Jan. 31st, 2004 11:54 pm (UTC)
where have you been all my life
Feb. 1st, 2004 03:26 pm (UTC)
AGAIN use of vapidly
Feb. 2nd, 2004 06:39 am (UTC)
Feb. 2nd, 2004 01:36 pm (UTC)
Feb. 1st, 2004 09:57 pm (UTC)
It's becoming a cliche.
Feb. 2nd, 2004 06:42 am (UTC)
I can be as cliché as I want to.
Feb. 2nd, 2004 10:08 am (UTC)
Damn your accent. I am grammatically impotent.
Feb. 18th, 2004 12:49 am (UTC)
Hmm... "exploring" is kind of fun. So is "aimless wandering." If there happen to be green and shady things near by, all the better.

Just don't call it "hiking." That implies you know where you're going and know how to read a map. Also that your idea of fun includes heavy overstuffed backpacks, retarded walking staffs (that are only even slightly useful if you happen to fall into quicksand, or need to poke at a dead chipmunk or something), and worst of all, those tight little khaki shorts that give everybody who wears them a permanent wedgie... ugh.
( 9 comments — Leave a comment )