"OH MY FUCKING GOD"
"PEJA YOU FUCKING FAGGOT"
"HOLY FUCKING SHIT YOU FUCKING FAGGOT QUEER STOJAKOVIC"
I assume this refined running commentary is in relation to the playoff game in which our local basketball team was partaking in earlier this evening, as there is a man by the name of Peja Stojakovic with the team. I also assume that this douchebag of epic proportions is watching a recording of the game, as it was completed several hours ago.
Our team won. I am seriously considering going over there to tell him that, and also to shoot him in the face point blank with my brother's paint ball gun.
Roundtable Pizza is constantly bombarding my television, mailbox, and all other forms of media with the suggestion that I buy a medium pizza, lay down four dollars and ninety nine cents and receive this:
the Peja Stoyajovic Russian Nesting Babooshkah dolls. Previously I had only furrowed my brow and stared at the dolls in a state of befuddlement. But now I see what they can be good for: pelting the douchebag neighbor in the head with wooden Pejas the next time he's screaming homophobic sports commentary at 1:30 in the morning.