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Spam.

This is the subject of an email I frequently receive:

Lourdes, don't forget to pick up Eduardo.

Okay. I ask of thee, oh sender of spam: What are the chances that my name is going to be Lourdes? Granted it is often assumed that I am Mexican, the chances are still very slim. My name could just as easily be Lupe. Besides, you don't know any of this.

You then compound matters further by assuming that 1) I have a child, 2) I have named this fruit of my loins "Eduardo," 3) I have entrusted his care to some establishment that I must pick him up from, 4) I am too drunk off tequila to even remember to pick him up, and I need a reminder in electronic form.

How dare you make such sweeping generalizations about my life?

Comments

( 3 comments — Leave a comment )
vanrushal
Feb. 5th, 2005 07:52 am (UTC)
They've probably got Eduardo somewhere, insisting that you're his drunken forgetful mommy. If I ran the daycare, I'd just sell his little ass on the black market, and not even give someone the chance to claim him. Hypothetically speaking, of course.
velouria
Feb. 6th, 2005 10:00 am (UTC)
thankfully, you do not run a daycare.
vanrushal
Feb. 6th, 2005 08:36 pm (UTC)
What, you don't want me to be successful?
( 3 comments — Leave a comment )