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Oh god, the aftermath.

I'm afraid if I kill myself, someone's gonna go in my room and drag out all my notebooks and make a movie based around my insane paranoid ramblings.

The shitty thing is, they're going to use Natalie Portman to portray me. And at the end when she kills herself, no one is going to take it seriously because she's fucking Natalie Portman.

Like Natalie Portman can't get a date or a job or sits online all night in Sacramento. What's worse, the soundtrack will be littered with Bright Eyes and Postal Service.

Ugh. I can't kill myself. I can't die, period.

Comments

( 7 comments — Leave a comment )
saregu
Jan. 25th, 2006 10:09 pm (UTC)
Contragulations on finding your life's purpose.
velouria
Jan. 25th, 2006 11:36 pm (UTC)
which is what, burning my insane paranoid writings?
drdoom77
Jan. 25th, 2006 10:47 pm (UTC)
You can't simply vanish, either...although, if you did, the uncertainty over your fate might at least postpone the movie's creation long enough such that Natalie Portman would become too old to portray you. You could be played by Dakota Fanning instead.
velouria
Jan. 25th, 2006 11:37 pm (UTC)
haaaha. that would be a bit more accurate.
daddylovebucket
Jan. 26th, 2006 04:56 am (UTC)
don't kill yourself. There is a only a few perfect women in the universe, it would be a shame to lose one of them to such silliness.
velouria
Jan. 26th, 2006 07:55 am (UTC)
oh you.
daddylovebucket
Jan. 27th, 2006 06:57 am (UTC)
oh me.
( 7 comments — Leave a comment )