If Olympics are bi and quad annual and what not, why do they appear to continually destroy my life annually, if not more. Why am I constantly robbed of Conan O'Brien by a twenty minute heart wrenching piece about some douche who "shattered both her feet in a devastating extreme ski jump, going from a size 7 shoe to a size 2 instantly" and who's back to do it again this year, despite the fact that her feet "exploded on impact."

I'm sorry. This does not make me cry. I admire the fact that you possess enough energy to twirl around in the heavens with unwieldy sticks strapped to your appendages, but you are not my hero. Maybe if you were constructing houses for the homeless, curing AIDS, or swatting flies of some African kid somewhere, you would be worthy of all this attention. I am not impressed by your complete and utter retardation.

Big surprise, the great humanitarian crash landed again this year. She exploded something else I guess, because she screamed relentlessly all the way down. Thanks NBC. Tomorrow, why don't you play Red Asphalt instead of Will & Grace.