The other day, my newly refined neighbor parked directly in the middle of our two spaces. I stared at it for several minutes wondering if she'd done it on purpose, because it's the first time I've ever seen her align the car down the middle of anything. I knocked on her door and stared at her some more. No words were even exchanged before she blurted out that she was sick when she came home, but she was feeling better now so she would come down and move it. Does that mean that she was so sidetracked by her vomitting that she had to park in the middle of our two spaces or something? If so, can I blame my morbid depression on future instances of macing her in the face? I hope so, because I plan on doing just that.
I peered in the windows of her "Touring Edition" Sebring for vomit when she'd left. Negatory. Touring Edition? Touring what, my fucking parking space? 2006 Ghetto Fabulous Tour of Colleen's Carport, feauturing the Harajuku girls. Come one, come all, see the amazing disrespectul neighbor in her Sebring.