At the point that my head hits the pillow, they begin heated arguments in Asian. And it's a scary sort of Asian too. Not your fun-loving, capitalistic sort of Asian. It's more of the nuclear bomb wielding, cat eating, North Korean type of Asian. So this goes on for about 90 minutes, and I understand nary a word of it but the handful of English obscenities they pepper the conversation with for variety.
Definitely the best thing you can do for your struggling relationship is to come to America and live in a one bedroom apartment below Colleen.