I didn't even get in that building before this woman who obviously loathes me but grins ear to ear each time she sees me throws open the door and shouts, "HI THERE, HOW ARE YA?!"
So I say I'm fine, and immediately she mocks me. She repeats what I say every single time in her best Eeyore voice. No matter what I say. Even if I've made a concentrated effort to not sound like a suicidal donkey. My eyes always narrow and I visualize ripping off my sunglasses and throwing down my purse as I run at her full speed to slam her into the wet glass where I bludgeon her with the hubcap I've torn off her nearby Dodge Caravan.