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Thursday's child has far to go.

I have an interview on Secretary's--excuse me--Administrative Professional's Day, to be an Analyst and not an Administrative Professional, because everyone and their mom, including the inmate population, feels the need to point out how unprofessional I am. I think it's quite asinine that they're making me interview when I've worked there for two years, but whatever. I'll do it. I can simply no longer stand to be the party responsible for ordering copy paper and toner for people who print out their own equivalent to Atlas Shrugged all day every day.

But first I had to go downtown and take the exam for Analyst. The room was filled with women who began to weep as soon as it became apparent that they were not capable of determining the standard deviation of anything. I didn't cry, but sighed extremely loudly the entire three-hour period. I fail to see how nervous breakdown-inducing math will aid me in my career as a governmental employee. But according to the letter in my mailbox the following week, I'm a successful candidate for analyzing and/or telling you when two trains going opposite directions at 88 miles per hour will meet in Hill Valley provided they don't see each other and destroy the space time continuum.

If they don't promote me, I'm moving on to the Department of Alcoholic Beverage Control, where I assume that they at least let you drink all day. It would be a welcome change from the current hostile environment where they send staff-wide discriminatory emails about the status of Sunshine Club members:

You can probably guess which one I am. And fuck you, Colleen S, for sullying my good name.


( 13 comments — Leave a comment )
Apr. 11th, 2008 04:31 am (UTC)
(oops...fucked up the first comment I posted)

I wasn't part of the sunshine club when I worked for the state, either. why the hell would I want to contribute to buying those people gifts?? haha
Apr. 11th, 2008 04:41 am (UTC)
worked? past tense? you got out alive?

but yeah, seriously. someone's goddamn third cousin in always in the hospital and i'm supposed to send the douche flowers every time? go towards the light already.
Apr. 11th, 2008 04:56 am (UTC)
yeah, 7 long torturous years at Franchise Tax Board. I've been retired (disability) for 2 years. It's kinda like I still work there because they pay me and insure me, but I don't actually have to go there anymore.
Apr. 11th, 2008 04:58 am (UTC)
ahhh, you are my hero! quick, disable me.
Apr. 11th, 2008 05:05 am (UTC)
but after I "accidentally" run you over, your co-workers won't be sending you any flowers! All because you're a sunshine club grinch.
(Deleted comment)
Apr. 11th, 2008 01:57 pm (UTC)
i accept only unconditional love. or vodka.
(Deleted comment)
Apr. 12th, 2008 05:23 pm (UTC)
not really. i drink 10 dollar vodka.
Apr. 11th, 2008 04:16 pm (UTC)
"Go towards the light" is gonna be my new phrase this month for people who piss me off. :D

Math is the suck.
Apr. 11th, 2008 11:41 pm (UTC)
math sucks more than anything has ever sucked before, but i triumphed over it. i am victorious.

and i'm a firm believer that death can't possibly suck as much as life, so i'm not even being an ahole about it. that guy should die.
Apr. 13th, 2008 02:12 am (UTC)
I've been slaughtered by math like 300 vaguely homoerotic Spartans by Persia.

I'm just pessimistic enough to think that death probably has annoying people, too.
Apr. 13th, 2008 09:01 am (UTC)
you make me laugh even in my post botched social outing misery. thank you.
Apr. 13th, 2008 07:53 pm (UTC)

Is there any other kind of social outing??
Apr. 13th, 2008 08:54 pm (UTC)
not that i've experienced, no.
( 13 comments — Leave a comment )