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15 will get you 20.

An irate member of the public called me up to put me on speaker phone and yell at me non-stop for 45 minutes about how he'd seen a prison documentary on MSNBC and wanted to inform me that if it were up to him, those bastards would go straight from the courts to the incinerators and WHY IN THE HELL ARE THEY ALLOWED TO TATTOO EACH OTHER IN THE FACE? What is wrong with me that I would let them do that? And he knew it was me that had let them, because he'd been "transferred all over the goddamn department" and apparently everyone in the goddamn department had unanimously agreed that I would be the most qualified to speak with him. Thanks guys.

You know, I'm used to being bitched at by inmates. By inmate family members. But I can't say I've ever been accosted by some random jackass that watched Lock-up one night in his home. The equivalent would be me calling up an intern at VH1 and screaming at them about how unjust it was that Daisy wasn't chosen as Bret Michael's Rock of Love after he'd taken advantage of her vulnerability in Cancun. I think I might now.

As he continued to share his opinions, I tried to occupy myself with AOL Entertainment News, only to end up with dozens of nearly nude pictures of Hannah Montana splashed across my monitor. I'm pretty sure I'm going to be fired now. Looking at naked pictures of 15 year olds is the one thing that can get you expelled from the government, and now I've gone and done it. Fuck.


( 3 comments — Leave a comment )
May. 6th, 2008 04:23 am (UTC)
If you actually called up VH1 and did that, I would totally send you booze.

I'm not even kidding. Just call me E. Nabler!

I shouldn't joke. I have a bad feeling in 30 years I'm going to be that guy...Granpa Simpson with a computer and a phone.
May. 6th, 2008 02:37 pm (UTC)
i'm sure one of that guy's inbred grandchildren had VH1 on the phone while he was talking to me about MSNBC, so it's covered.
May. 6th, 2008 06:07 pm (UTC)
Well, Tila Tequila is an important show.
( 3 comments — Leave a comment )