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Paradise Lost.

I've lost my Notebook of Doom. There isn't a person alive (or dead) who has crossed my path that has not been given a scathing review in this notebook. I have searched high and low, and do not know where it could possibly be. Home, work, last interview I went on. Probably the latter. Could have something to do with the letter I read upon arriving home today:

Ms. Colleen:

Thank you for interviewing for us, but we've decided to go with someone much more qualified.


Um, fuck you. I've sent out a million rejector letters to interviewees and absolutely none of them sounded a goddamn thing like that. I hope the lightrail ran over and killed whomever wrote that the very moment he or she finished doing so and stepped outside. I hope the two bitches that interviewed me were on that particular lightrail car, and it was delayed 4 to 8 hours while they scraped the corpse of the letter's author off the tracks.

Comments

( 6 comments — Leave a comment )
daddylovebucket
Nov. 15th, 2008 10:18 pm (UTC)
Kill them!
jonn68
Nov. 16th, 2008 01:15 am (UTC)
That's a bit unprofessional to even write that, isn't it?

Jerks.
velouria
Nov. 19th, 2008 05:31 am (UTC)
obviously they don't realize what a valuable asset i am, being an unprofessional jerk myself.
jonn68
Nov. 19th, 2008 06:29 am (UTC)
There should be a secret handshake or some sort of decoder ring.
botrinks
Nov. 17th, 2008 05:11 pm (UTC)
Dear X & Y (the two interview bitches),

Thank you for informing me that the position has now been filled. It was a pleasure meeting you both and learning about your organization.

I believe that on the day of my interview I left behind some personal documentation - a small book - I would be grateful if you would return this to my home address at your earliest convenience. Attached are three pages that will need inserting into the book before it is returned:

Attachment Title

- 1: Bitch X
- 2: Bitch Y
- 3: Shitty Letter

Thanks again & good luck with your new employee.

Regards etc.
velouria
Nov. 19th, 2008 05:33 am (UTC)
i knew i should've made it loose leaf.
( 6 comments — Leave a comment )