I need to move anyway. I came home the other night and found my bedroom door closed. I never do that. Never ever, never never never. So I clutched my keychain mace and knocked on it. "Hello?" I called, to no response. I slowly cracked it open to find Von Fluffy munching on sunflower seeds and looking mildly terrified. If only she could speak of the horrors that she witnessed. I may contact a hamster whisperer.
I figure it's the dead, the undead, or the maintenance man digging through my underwear drawer. I actually gave him permission to enter a couple weeks ago so that he could fix my garbage disposal while I was at work. That night, I found a note beside a busted up pile of shot glass that read, "Shot glasses r not disposable. U will be charged 75 bucks if u do it again. Thnx."
It must have been that moment that he fell in love with me and would later return to enter my apartment and dick around in my bedroom.