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Vampire Weekend

Friday evening, I drove down to Lodi to visit my work wife. We got drunk at least 4 different places before stumbling into Friday the 13th. It was the stupidest piece of crap I have ever barely remembered viewing in my life. At least I think.

We went back to her home, where I passed out in her 2-year old's bed once her husband came home from work. It was not at all different from my own tiny bed, so I was well accommodated. The 2 year-old put Barney on for me on her plastic television and explained how she would draw a portrait of me on her Magnadoodle while I slipped into vodka-fueled unconsciousness. I am now in love with her and may have to have one of my own. I know it won't be half as cute though. I should probably import one.

My only human contact today was with the guy I bought toilet paper from in the mini-mart. I then stopped at Jack in the Box (I guess brief human contact was made with that chick) and took home stuffed jalepenos where I sat on the couch and watched the Academy Awards whilst sobbing hysterically at everything. Romance montages, Hyundai commercials, Sean Penn not thanking his wife. You name it, it made me cry.

Perhaps I do have a heart after all.


( 7 comments — Leave a comment )
Feb. 23rd, 2009 09:09 am (UTC)
Rent-a-kid. They are allways so much better when you can give them back.

Hyundai adverts... congrats! that beats my X-factor blub's.
Feb. 23rd, 2009 02:55 pm (UTC)
rent-a-kid. hmmm. you probably have to feed them before turning them in.
Feb. 23rd, 2009 05:03 pm (UTC)
I'd be tempted to let them run free in the garden & let nature take its course.
(Deleted comment)
Feb. 23rd, 2009 02:54 pm (UTC)
no, actually. the only ones i'd seen were dark knight and wall-eeeee. but that didn't stop me from crying every time it won.
Feb. 23rd, 2009 05:34 pm (UTC)
Is this the new Velouria???

Feb. 24th, 2009 12:59 am (UTC)
she lurks beneath the surface.
Feb. 24th, 2009 05:08 am (UTC)
(There's nothing wrong with having a heart, by the way. More people should.)
( 7 comments — Leave a comment )