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He works from 9 to 5 and then...

My current goal in life is to seduce the new guy at work into marrying me. He's under 95 and male, not the norm, so I fumble all over my goddamn self every time he speaks to me.

This afternoon, he ambled over to my cubicle to ask me what I was reading. I struggled desperately to find a sophisticated way to explain that it was a US magazine chronicling Jessica Simpson's journey into hefferdom, but could not find the adequate words to do so. In all honesty, I was only looking for whatever words wouldn't make me sound like Juliette Lewis in The Other Sister or Juliette Lewis in anything, really. I did not succeed even remotely.

He got around to casually asking me how old I was, so I take this to be a declaration of his love. What else? For this reason, I must find a legitimate excuse to go into his cubicle tomorrow. I have not come up with anything thus far, but I do have an outfit for the occasion.

Comments

( 8 comments — Leave a comment )
jonn68
Feb. 25th, 2009 04:34 am (UTC)
:D
velouria
Feb. 25th, 2009 04:39 am (UTC)
let's wait until a murder/suicide is off the table before breaking out the smiley faces.
jonn68
Feb. 25th, 2009 04:49 am (UTC)
Well, ok.

I just like to live vicariously through other people's flirting.
(Deleted comment)
velouria
Feb. 26th, 2009 01:02 am (UTC)
you're still a pervert.
botrinks
Feb. 25th, 2009 04:33 pm (UTC)
Un-plug his keyboard:

If he struggles, furrowing his brow in a vein attempted to understand the situation...then calls the i.t. crowd, he's thick.

If he struggles but looks cute, go be a hero.

If he plugs it in straight away, nonchalantly walk past & whisper with a smile: tomorrow it's the breaks on your car.
velouria
Feb. 26th, 2009 01:02 am (UTC)
the way the place is laid out, i wouldn't even be able to gauge his reaction unless i just lurked around creepily.
botrinks
Feb. 26th, 2009 01:09 am (UTC)
do that! It's such a turn on.

...or maybe you should just get to know him. Ask lots of questions, that way he does most of the talking. Bonus.
botrinks
Feb. 26th, 2009 01:09 am (UTC)
P.S. Good luck!
( 8 comments — Leave a comment )