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She walked in through the out door.

I was transcribing one of our public hearings at work (taking great poetic license as per usual), when I got sick of it and pulled my adorable pink gummy ear buds out of my ears and leaned as far back as I could in my chair without breaking my neck to stretch when I heard a broad I hate say:

"Can I borrow your earphones?"

It registered and I flinched. Is she serial? My gummy earbuds? They go deep into the recesses of my ears! So I said, "Huh?" about 5 times hoping she would give up and go away, but she continued to ask if she could borrow my earbuds. Euuuuuuughhhhhhh.

What choice did I have? So fighting back tears, I reluctantly handed them to her. She brought them back half an hour later mumbling, "thanks."

Douchebag. Why don't we just share dildos and intravenous needles while we're at it.

Comments

( 19 comments — Leave a comment )
hatchelt
Mar. 29th, 2009 07:17 am (UTC)
my friend, here's a word that's gonna save you a lot of heartache and pain over the years:

"no"
velouria
Mar. 29th, 2009 07:18 am (UTC)
how awkward would that have been!
hatchelt
Mar. 29th, 2009 07:20 am (UTC)
just put your earphones back in before you say it, those babies will transport you away from said ugly situation!
velouria
Mar. 29th, 2009 07:22 am (UTC)
i haven't had a problem saying no where other orifices are concerned. i guess ears shouldn't be any different.
hatchelt
Mar. 29th, 2009 07:30 am (UTC)
cricky, i dread to think what other things she's asked of you
velouria
Mar. 29th, 2009 07:32 am (UTC)
naw, no one in the workplace has tried that despite my very best efforts.
hatchelt
Mar. 29th, 2009 07:38 am (UTC)
so they only want your ears?
velouria
Mar. 29th, 2009 07:39 am (UTC)
apparently. and i have so much more to offer.
hatchelt
Mar. 29th, 2009 07:42 am (UTC)
wear earmuffs until they start seeing the rest of you. good advice huh? that'll be $49.50
velouria
Mar. 29th, 2009 07:44 am (UTC)
hehe. <3
hatchelt
Mar. 29th, 2009 07:48 am (UTC)
*waits for cheque*
jonn68
Mar. 30th, 2009 12:48 am (UTC)
yeah. you must learn to be mean.

ok, meaner.
velouria
Mar. 30th, 2009 05:04 am (UTC)
it's too late now.
jonn68
Mar. 30th, 2009 02:42 pm (UTC)
it's never too late to be mean.
velouria
Mar. 30th, 2009 04:35 pm (UTC)
it is once they've stuck your earbuds in their gross ears.
botrinks
Mar. 30th, 2009 12:49 pm (UTC)
"me no spreak engrish!"
velouria
Mar. 30th, 2009 04:35 pm (UTC)
ahh, i like.
daddylovebucket
Mar. 30th, 2009 11:56 pm (UTC)
that's hawt.
velouria
Mar. 31st, 2009 06:39 am (UTC)
i disagree.
( 19 comments — Leave a comment )