I was too shocked to even register anything as it gushed freezing water first onto me, and then the floor, where it roared around the linoleum as if I were preparing to white water raft in our tiny shared laundry room. I managed to stuff it back in its hole and run slipping and sliding through my garage and into the kitchen to get to the towels. After sopping up as much as I could, I pushed the towels out onto the back porch and leaned against the house, panting. There I noticed some dude also in the backyard, staring at me in my soaking wifebeater and lack of bra until a chick holding a baby came out and snapped at him to go back inside.
While I love the new place, I would like to request of God:
1. That the two water heaters not explode tonight
2. A fence