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Boop boop be doop.

The lames at work are pushing me to the brink of slicing my wrists with a letter opener in a bathroom stall daily, and so I take every opportunity I can to get away from them. Lunch for instance. I went through the drive-thru at Taco Bell, and like most people would, drove away once they'd given me my stupid burrito and told me to have a nice day. Nevermind that they still had my fucking bank card.

Back at work late in the day and a lame causes me to reach for the flask in my purse, where catching site of my wallet ignites the memory of not getting my card back. So when the stupid, shitty, miserable, Jesus Christ I-hate-my-fucking-wretched-life day is over, I go back to Taco Bell and ask for my card. "We didn't think you were coming back," said the same girl who had waited on me, "So our manager told us to cut it up."

You what? It's been 4 hours! What the fuck is wrong with you!? This is second only to going on a fucking burrito buying spree in the category of most asinine things you could have possibly done with my debit card. Fuck you!

So of course I have to cancel it, and then wait 24 hours, and then go into a bank, and then prove that I am who I say I am via showing them my various birthmarks, and then wait 5 to 7 days for them to send me a new one. The only good that came of this was the bank clerk informing me that I could have "whatever I wanted" on my card. He then showed me a catalog of "whatever I wanted." I don't know if it was really that far-reaching, but I did manage to find something I could possibly learn to live with:


Pretty cute.



( 7 comments — Leave a comment )
Jun. 11th, 2009 09:04 am (UTC)
did they have Ralph Wiggum or Mo Sizlack?
Jun. 11th, 2009 01:53 pm (UTC)
no, just the nuclear simpson's family.
Jun. 11th, 2009 03:43 pm (UTC)
That's not very imaginative of BOA, first they offend by reminding me Chris Martin exists & then you forget about Ralphy & poor Mo...

Based on this evidence I think it only right you rack up many $thousands$ of debt & then declare yourself bankrupt.
Jun. 12th, 2009 01:04 am (UTC)
i'd like to hire you as my financial advisor if you're willing.
Jun. 12th, 2009 07:52 am (UTC)
Sure, first things first: We will need to set up a painting and decorating company. With our company credit line we are going to buy all of the materials on said credit, but I don't like painting so instead of working what we'll actually do is sell off the materials at a slightly discounted price to legit companies. With the income gained from this we can pay ourselves a fair wage (& balance the books) right up to the point when we fold the company, go bankrupt & chip off traveling with our ill gotten gains.

There is no need to leave your current job if you don't want to, leave it with me & I'll FedEx you the paperwork.
Jun. 11th, 2009 02:20 pm (UTC)
Seriously? I mean I knew taco bell employees were morons, but WTF?

Although that's probably WHY the manager did it, because when I worked there in my misspent youth, half the people were stealing from the registers.

Jun. 11th, 2009 02:34 pm (UTC)
like i said, it beats buying everyone a round of volcano burittos. but still.
( 7 comments — Leave a comment )