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Shock Shock Horror Horror.

Was standing on my bed winding Halloween lights around the window sill and sticking glittery glow-in-the-dark sheep and stars on the wall the other night (incompetently, I might add). Turned around and took a few steps back to reach for my booze. Felt a breeze and looked up. Oh yeah, the ceiling fan.

That's just how I want things to end. I want the landlord to find me decapitated in the bedroom when she comes to find out why she never got her rent check. Severed head in a pool of Mike's Hard Lemonade. That wouldn't be till sometime in September either, so it would be pretty gnar by then.

Now I can't stop thinking about my near death experience and I wake up with plastic sheep stuck in my hair more often than I would like.

Comments

( 6 comments — Leave a comment )
jonn68
Aug. 6th, 2009 02:35 pm (UTC)
I know it's wrong, but I just pictured your disembodied head going "Oh, just great," and then moving to grab the channel changer with its teeth to watch VH1.
velouria
Aug. 7th, 2009 01:53 am (UTC)
i've bin watchin mair ay craig fergusen than vh1 these days.

i just got that off a scottish generator so i have no way of knowing how bad it sucks.
jonn68
Aug. 7th, 2009 03:34 pm (UTC)
That's because Craig Ferguson is awesome.

I have no idea either. My scottish accents begin and end with Sean Connery.
velouria
Aug. 7th, 2009 08:45 pm (UTC)
he is. i decided i wanted to marry him, and then discovered he's married to someone younger than me. poo.
velouria
Aug. 7th, 2009 08:45 pm (UTC)
craig ferguson not sean connery.
jonn68
Aug. 8th, 2009 04:34 am (UTC)
I figured you meant Craig.

Is he? I had no idea.
( 6 comments — Leave a comment )