Fuck you if you fold up your enormous application and stuff it in a tiny envelope so that I have to put the gigantic Physician's Desk Reference that's in my bookcase for some reason on top of it and sit on it to straighten it out. Fuck you if you email me your application, you fucking idiot. Fuck you if you attach a picture of yourself that you took IN YOUR BATHROOM to your application. Fuck you if you write a cover letter just to admit that you graduated with a degree in "Liberal Studies" from anywhere. And the biggest fuck you goes to the fucking absolute morons who instead of promoting ME, make me go through this shit every 6 months to hire one of these worthless fucking fucks who will then leave in 6 fucking months. Fuck you.
Fuck you to Yogapants who told me that I looked nice, and then in the same breath asked if it was because I was going to a costume party. Fuck you Yogapants, even though you came back 5 minutes later to explain that it was because I looked like Little Red Riding Hood. Fuck you, guy that said I looked like Katy Perry and then laughed when I said thank you.
Fuck you to the nard that pulled up right beside me while I was trying to cry into my KFC bowl-of-death on my lunch in a vacant parking lot and just stared at me for half an hour.