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I (Don't) Wanna Be Your Joey Ramone.

I had bangs cut the other day. I was trying to look like Natasha Khan, but apparently look more like Cleopatra. At least according to Yogapants, who blew by my cubicle muttering "Nice Cleopatra wig" and to an unidentified ahole who burst through the door on his cellphone, glanced at me, and then said to whatever other ahole he was talking to "Hold on, let me ask Cleopatra here. Where's the conference room?"

But I'd rather look like Cleopatra any day over what my (former) friend and (ex) work wife compared me to. "You look like a Ramone!" she exclaimed as she approached my desk, "You look just like Joey Ramone!"

I wanted to knock each and every one of her teeth down her throat with the nearest Penal Code, but I remained calm. Stoically looking past her, I quietly wished the hammer of God to rain locusts and famine down upon her and her family this winter.

Our work marriage is being annulled.

Comments

( 11 comments — Leave a comment )
velouria
Sep. 11th, 2009 10:03 pm (UTC)
velouria, of course you don't look like a ramone, who are not only male, but perhaps the ugliest males to have ever walked the earth!
velouria
Sep. 11th, 2009 10:03 pm (UTC)
why thank you so much!
jonn68
Sep. 12th, 2009 02:02 am (UTC)
*snork* You're funny. Although you don't want to look like Cleopatra, either - despite what the movies want us to believe, she was not hot.

And no, you don't look like a Ramone! You look like someone, but I can't think of who she is. :)
velouria
Sep. 12th, 2009 07:21 am (UTC)
i didn't think they were referring to some sort of historically correct heinous cleopatra, but thanks for putting that in my head.
jonn68
Sep. 12th, 2009 01:24 pm (UTC)
Well, damn. :(

What about looking like Tura Satana in Faster, Pussycat, Kill Kill?
velouria
Sep. 12th, 2009 06:10 pm (UTC)
i quit.
jonn68
Sep. 12th, 2009 08:09 pm (UTC)
Damn it. I tried!
velouria
Sep. 13th, 2009 04:02 am (UTC)
i'll just be myself, blah blah blah.
jonn68
Sep. 14th, 2009 06:55 pm (UTC)
I'm ok, you're ok.
velouria
Sep. 14th, 2009 11:56 pm (UTC)
dunno about you, but i'm fabulous.
jonn68
Sep. 15th, 2009 12:08 am (UTC)
That's more like it!
( 11 comments — Leave a comment )